Yes, I am a tall, very slim cat, yes I am female and yes, I am Head of the CI6 (Canine Intelligence 6) secret service.
I apologise for my unfriendly manor but everyone meeting me for the first time automatically expects the Head of Canine Intelligence to be male and canine not female and feline. But CI6 is an equal opportunities employer and why should dogs and boys have all the best jobs and get all the best gadgets to play with. I have worked my way to the top…I am the boss because I am good at what I do.
Anyway, now that I’ve got that off my chest, please allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is ‘C’. This is obviously my code name – no one knows my real name. I spend many hours of my life at MI6 – the home of the British Secret Service and training ground for the country’s top secret agents, also home to the best scientists and engineers in the world. Only a few carefully-chosen animals know that the building is also the secret home of CI6 so let’s keep that a secret too.
I am the boss of all of the CI6 secret agents including the famous James Bone, 007, who I think you were previously introduced to.
My office, 21 floors up, is on the rooftop of the MI6 building in Vauxhall Cross. I get to look out over the beautiful city of London every day, watching people go about their everyday lives. Unknown to all of them below I am up here keeping Britain safe.
Take the recent kidnapping of Her Majesty the Queen for instance. This has to be the most high-profile case I have worked on and one that needed a successful ending. Agent James Bone 007 was the obvious choice for this mission, he never lets me down. Although, I do have to pull him back into line occasionally as he does have a habit of getting slightly side-tracked, especially if there are females around.
My job can be very dangerous and is extremely busy. I have a great team of people working with me and I couldn’t do my job without them. One of my bodyguards, Shamus ‘O’ Farrell, makes me feel very safe. He is a very tall Irish wolfhound and despite his formidable size he is very intelligent, quite reserved and has the most wonderful soft Irish accent.
And I can’t forget my long-time, loyal and pretty secretary, Miss Sonypennie. She is a Siamese cat who definitely uses her looks to her advantage. She is able to wrap most of my male agents round her little paws especially James Bone. She certainly knows what advice to give me as far as James is concerned and knows how I can get him fired up to get a mission completed. I personally think she is in love with James but she certainly wouldn’t admit that.
So, how did a female long black coated cat become head of CI6, I hear you ask. After I completed my PhD at Oxford University I applied for a job at CI6. I underwent the three month Induction and Training course and passed all the Canine Intelligence exams with top marks. I was then sent on an overseas posting to gather and deliver intelligence working with all the overseas agents on a worldwide operation. I started identifying and recruiting new agents to provide intelligence and before I knew it I was offered a post back in the UK as Head of CI6. I was delighted with my new role as it is a well known fact that I am more comfortable sitting behind a desk than being out in the field, it’s better for wearing high heels. I am bossy and if I am honest I am a bit of a control freak but I love my job, I am good at it but I couldn’t do my job without the people around me. I have the pleasure of working with the best in Britain…long may it continue!